"So Bright"

 

Under lid number three we have a beauty of pair from Hannah's. Made by 'Pulp' these bold mary-jane wedges are fast becoming a fave. On sale for $50, I  bought them with Birthday money from Brad's Nana. They are another pair of wedges, but a lot lower making them super comfortable to wear to uni, and although they are synthetic the fabric is kind of lush like an imitation suede. I've called them my Muppet shoes, because the pairing of the two colours remind me of Henson's creatures.

What do you think? Would you wear these to work?

Melting in the middle, part II

I know It seems like I've been going on and on about culture at the moment, but this is what I'm dealing with at the moment, and my blog always has reflected what is going on in my world.

I had a young woman who is embarking on her first year at uni, complain to me one night about "preferential" standards toward Māori and Pacific students during Orientation week and at University in general. She argued that there shouldn't be common rooms or meeting places for specifically for Pacific students. Before I could let her know how I felt about that, or suggest some readings someone jumped in and changed the subject (probably on purpose). One of the things that I have realised since starting Teachers College, is that if I try and put my emotions to the side, if I don't draw on Te Tiriti o Waitangi or even what I believe to be basic human rights I am still left with a bunch of facts. 

Facts...things that I was taught in lectures just last year. People are so willing to complain or point out that our Māori and Pacific students as a group, aren't achieving at the same standard as other students. To me, that's a huge problem. Of course it's political and it's definitely personal, and there are so many arguments as to why that is. Equity and equality have long been a part of this argument, and probably always will be. There are so many suggestions as to how Māori and Pacific achievement standards can be lifted. But there are an overwhelming amount of  people who are so willing to complain about an issue that is central to a specific group of people, yet so little people who understand that these students clearly aren't getting what they need from our education system. So little that realise that to solve the problem, these students need help. So little that realise that what they are implying echoes fragments of the genetic inferiority paradigm. I'm not saying that Māori and Pacific students deserve more support or more resources than any other group of students. I am saying that if the problem is so specific to these groups of students, then surely so is the process of the solution. We need to look at how we can help Maori and Pacific student achieve their potential, not how can we give everyone everything, despite multiple subjectivites and complexities and expect things to change. If Pacific or Māori students need a place where they can go to on campus to discuss their world view, to exercise their right to be proud of their culture without fear of having to defend it, then so be it. There are other groups within universities that deal with social oppression; feminist clubs, religious groups and homosexual student's groups, why is a Pacific Student's common room any different? 

I can personally attest to how difficult it is to focus your mind on studying when your blood is boiling and your heart is thumping and it feels like all of the centuries of protest have been passed down from your ancestors and are trying to escape from your eyes in a furious heat storm. Having someone to talk to who feels the same way, having a friend back you up, having somewhere to go and deal with these feelings are all lifelines for me. A friend said to me last week "people just don't understand that what they say can hurt". And it's true. So I've decided to take you for a cultural walk In My Shoes. I'm starting a journal. A journal that will last thirty days. Every time I feel like I have to defend my culture, pronounce something incorrectly so people understand or hear something that I deem to be culturally offensive, I will record it and post it at the end of the month. I'm not setting out to string people up. We are all learners. We all make mistakes. We all have different feelings about what is and what is not acceptable. This is just my view of what hurts me.

"Melting in the middle"

I've been under a bit of stress recently. With University, my health and a smattering of other family things.
I finished the first paper for my Graduate Diploma of Teaching on Wednesday afternoon. I had been feeling caught in a weird space during this paper - as I mentioned before, and was not sure how I was going to cope with processing these feelings as well as learning English and Social Studies curriculum. I had been struggling with the attitudes of others toward cultural diversity. In fact I cannot think of a day where I didn't feel like I had to defend my culture. It's hard to straddle cultural boundaries and maintain your core value system. Its conflicting. Its confusing. Its painful. I find it really hard to work through this sort of thing, and I usually end up in angry tears.

 I was really freaking out about the English curriculum study for next trimester. I was worried that we would be jumping straight in to a type of text that I am not the best with. A text that I find hard to relate to. Then I checked the Prescribed Textbooks for the course...and the only complete text that we are required to buy is 'Mauri Ola'. Oh sweet relief and excitement. A text that I know and love. A text that speaks to my heart and echoes my feelings. I can't wait to be working on something that doesn't make me feel like the two halves of myself are trying to battle each other to the death.

"Winning"

Whats under lid number two?

A beautiful pair of coral coloured satin platform mary-janes, 'Gold Hunter' by Nude. Did I mention that I won them?

At Christmas time Nude ran a competition on their facebook page called the 12 days of Christmas. I won day two.

This is another pair that I get lots of comments on...funnily enough every compliment has come from a waitress. Thanks Nude! I love them. I had to pay my shoe guy $10 to stretch the toe out a little and bang another hole in the strap because they are quite a narrow fit for my wide feet. I am still breaking them in, but am confident that after a few more wears they'll be dance floor ready. $10 to stretch a pair of $200 shoes, that were shipped to my house due to a little facebook comp, involving the tiniest amount of effort...WINNING!

30 PSC: Day 26 - "An unfortunate slight"

Day 26 - A song that you can play on an instrument..................







.............I got nothin'. And it saddens me. Deeply. I have always wished that I could be musical. 

"All About Steve"

I can't believe that I have not updated you on my new additions over the past six months. Whoopsie. For those who care, I have accumulated four new pairs of shoes. 

I'll start with the pair that I got first.

They are 'Riddgge', in Blush Patent Leather, by Steve Madden. I saw them yonks ago on a website that posed two issues, they were too darn expensive and they didn't ship to lil ol' NZ. After months (no, seriously) of looking everywhere for an appropriate substitute I trawled and trawled the Internet to try and find a pair. I even tweeted Steve Madden. No, seeeriously.

That's when I came across Endless. And life as I knew it would be forever changed. I highly recommend this site, not only do they have an amazing array of beautiful shoes, but they offer tips that made purchasing shoes online less of a risk. I have wide feet and often have trouble with some styles of shoes. Endless, and its customers told me that this shoe was a true size, and a generous width. So I bought. And Prayed. And perspired a little. Luckily, they were right. I ordered them Tuesday, they were on my feet (comfortably) by midday Saturday. All for $80NZD, which I was more than happy to pay for a leather, Steve Madden shoe shipped from the States (thanks tax return). BOOM.

They have been firm favourites. So much so that I now need to get them re-soled. I always get compliments on them, and a few "where'd you get those from" looks. They are super comfortable and I wear them with basically everything bar my gym gear. Although that would be an interesting look. (Excuse the mingin' feet)

What do you think? Have you acquired any new kicks over the summer?

Jumping on the bandwagon

I have been fighting a fit of internal range for the past couple of weeks. Teachers College definitely has highlighted these issues, but they've always been there. Waitangi Day and Media/Politics have probably edged it along too.

See, Teachers College effectively crams a vastly diverse group of people together. In my case, we all have different passions and areas of so called 'expertise'. The problem that I have been dealing with is that most of the people that I come in to contact with are from different branches of the tree. I'm not talking about ethnicity, age, gender or intelligence - although those certainly come in to play. I'm talking about open mindedness when it comes to diversities. As far as I know, I am one of the few Maori students in my tutorial class. This doesn't bother me. But I have spent the last three weeks trying to summon the patience to get through comments like "It's so easy to be Mowri these days", "You'll probably get a Scholarship because you're Mowri" and "Why is Mowri culture more taking more prominence than say Asian or Hindu cultures?" "We had intelligent Mowri at our School" and "My school was split in to two groups, Pakeha and Brown people". I've found it really hard. 

Pronunciation has been another biggie for me lately. I can't stand to hear about 'Coathanger Rhea' and 'Tay Fareaky'. To me, it completely undermines the very purpose of discussing the topic.

I have spoken to some of my peers, and some staff. All of which have been very supportive and understanding.

I was not going to blog about this. Then I watched this clip.

This got me thinking. Being Maori is not a 'band-wagon'. It's not a free ride. I'm sure if many of my peers had to defend their people, their language and the relevance of their culture in this country every day, I'm sure they'd know that it's anything but easy. It hurts. And to imply that I get preferential treatment because of this, is not only hurtful but it's ignorant.

So please, think before you speak, or type. And if you still think that it's a breeze to be Maori, go read a book. If you need recommendations, I'd be happy to oblige.